Bleeding Love
by BeautyIsHerName
Summary: Alli's inner turmoil. Clare is torn between what she wants and what she needs.Didn't need the pain...Time starts to pass before you know it you're frozen...You cut me open...AU-ish...I do not own Degrassi! Please REVIEW!
1. Bleeding Love

Bleeding Love

…

She would never get used to the screams she heard at night or the disapproving glares in the morning by her parents.

This was her fault…all of it. Now here she lay…cries leaking from her eyes. She tried to be strong. She kept repeating the words "it will all be over in the morning," but it never came. The mornings passed roughly and nights caught up quickly.

She was back where she left off…in her bed…bundled up….closing her eyes hoping to block out all of the noise. Her parents blamed her…and themselves.

All Ali wanted to do was to be good. She tried so hard, but something was wrong with her. She was a malfunction…a burden….a waste of air.

She thought transferring was going to be the best option to get away from the distractions….Bianca….Drew…but a solution was never found. She heard the laughs from the girls as she would visit "The Dot" every once in a while. The desperate girl….the annoying know-it-all…the weak little girl who had never experienced pain before in her life.

She did know pain. She did know what it was like to never to have your parents' blessing.

The silence screamed at her…suffocated her…until she passed. Once she found her room to be a sanctum…now it is a dungeon that carried so much weight. It became a place she did not hardly recognize.

Feeling restless, she walked over to the bookshelf to look at her scrapbook. Looking at the pictures she remembered how happy she was. The old picture of her and Johnny in the photo booth..she also remembered how much of herself she put into that relationship and it crumbled. She was stupid. How could she give her body away like that? How could she think that would get a guy?

Turning the pages, Clare's clear blue eyes stopped her. She was her best friend….but she needed to break away….she began to distance herself from Clare. She didn't want to bother her best friend. Clare was finally happy. Eli was the guy she had been searching for. Alli wasn't the selfish person she used to be.

This day was really special. The two were on the beach playing like little kids. They built sand castles and enjoyed each other's company. They both posed as they asked a friendly stranger to take the picture of them in their bathing suits.

She picked up the picture of Drew. She use to define him as the person who made her life a living hell. Correction…the guy she let make her life a living hell. Why couldn't she see? The signs were there in the beginning. How can a guy not want to be around you all of a sudden want you to be his one and only? She was so stupid. Stupid….dumb…naïve…she began to shake her head.

Turning the page…tears began to flow as she viewed the picture of her and Dave at a student council retreat. It was a silly picture that never ceased to amaze her. The two placed bunny ears behind their heads….so kiddy…so cute. She smiled. Turning the picture over she read in his handwriting, "I will always be there for you, even when you don't want me too."

He always found a way of making life enjoyable. He had become her second best friend…until she ruined it…like she ruined everything else. She should have known he wouldn't want anything to do with her.

_Flashback:_

"_What are you doing here?" Dave asked surprised to see the little Muslim girl wearing a preppy uniform sitting on his bed._

_Alli knew an explanation had to be given as to why she was there. You don't just ignore someone for half of the semester and all of a sudden show up unexpected…but she ran out options. Jenna was busy with her unborn child. Clare was with Eli. Sav was with Holly J. Everyone was where they wanted to be. Dave was her last solution._

"…_I didn't have anywhere else to go. Everyone has lost faith in me." Alli said low._

"_Alli…why…how….how did you get in here?" Dave asked with confusion._

"_Your mom let me in. She told me to tell you she would be back in a little bit." Alli said._

"_Why would she do that?" Dave said. He didn't mean to say that aloud._

"…_no….no….I understand…I don't need to be here. I don't know why I came." She said._

"_I don't know why either Alli. Every time something bad always happens you always look for me to save or help you in some way. Then when things get better, you drop me. You don't get to use me like that or pick up where you left off." He said with his back turned to her._

"_People move on. Life goes on." He finally had the strength to look at her as tears fell. A couple of months ago he would have given anything to be the one to wipe her tears away…but this time was different._

_Hanging on to the last piece of dignity and pride she had left, she wiped her face and began to stand. His phone began to vibrate, and he answered it…..ignoring her existence._

"_Hey baby." He said. Of course he would have a girlfriend. Dave knew how to treat a girl._

_End Flashback_

Why did she deprive herself of that?

She huddled herself in the corner. What could she do to turn back the hands of time…to make all the bad stuff go away. Climbing out of her window, she began to walk.

…..

Dave couldn't sleep. He stared at the ceiling trying to make sense of the "incident". Angry was an understatement. How dare she! How dare she show up and turn his world upside down!

She hadn't changed. She still thought the world revolved around her….that no one else mattered. Those tears were only a ploy. A way of manipulating.

He was glad that he finally stood up to her…but something was missing. Putting on his shoes and a hoodie, he left his home.

…..

Dave was everything she was not supposed to like. He was frustrating ….annoying ….goofy …funny…a great listener….a caring friend towards her. Making her way towards the park, she laid down on the bench.

Dave saw her, bathed in moonlight….sitting on the park bench. Didn't she know it was dangerous? Is she in that much sorrow? Walking up to her, he tapped her on her shoulder.

"Alli-O, come on. I'll walk you home." Amazing the thing he was trying to run away from, he ran into it.

"No….no…no…please don't take me back." She cried shivering.

"Alli how can you be so….." He said with frustration as he put his hoodie on her.

"You don't understand Dave…I had….to get away…from them." She softly said.

"I know…I know." He rubbed her cheek.

"Everyone left me. No one wants to be around me. I'm a terrible person. I don't even like myself." She cried in his arms.

Dave digested her breakdown. She wasn't acting. He clutched his heart. He didn't know she felt like this. He would help her. He would not give up on his promise to her….but first things first…he had to get her to her room before her parents had found out she was missing.

"Alli please don't cry. I need you to be strong." Dave said. Listening to him, Alli nodded. As the wind blew, Dave put the hood on her head. Good thing he had on long sleeves. Walking back to her place, they climbed the tree. Settling her in the bed, he pulled the covers over her.

"Please stay." She pleaded grabbing his hand.

"Okay." They would talk about this in the morning. Right now, she needed to be held…and that was what he was going to do.


	2. My Immortal

**My Immortal**

**Chapter 2**

**Evanescence**

….

As Alli began to wake, something caught her attention…she was not cold. Usually, when she woke up in the early morning, she felt alone and detached. Not today…why?

Opening her eyes, she saw an arm around her waist…Dave's arm. No wonder why she felt so warm and comfortable. Smiling she turned around to face him. Unconsciously, he pulled her closely to him…or so she thought.

"How did you sleep?" Dave asked.

"Good…for a change." She bit her lip. She was so embarrassed after her nervous breakdown last night. She didn't know what to say. What does the class clown think of the princess?

Nothing else was said as the moment passed. Dave waited on her to talk because she needed to. Keeping all her emotions in was not healthy. Replaying last night in his head, all he could do was be patient and not push her.

She refused to look in his eyes, for she did not want him to know. The more he knew the more he would stay away from her. She did not want him to shun her. She closed her eyes trying to hold back tears, but they slid out.

Dave started to rub her arms, "Shhhh" He said gently as his heart began to drop.

"How did you get like this? When did it start?" He asked.

"After the fight. When my parents found out…I wasn't a virgin anymore…you should have seen their faces. They were so disappointed. I never meant to cause that. Then my life spiraling out control. No one wants to be around me." She cried.

"Alli that's not true. Sometimes…."

"_Knock Knock"_

"Sis, you up?" Sav asked opening the door. "What the hell?" He said finding Alli and Dave in the same bed. Dave immediately jumped out the bed putting his shoes on.

"It's not what it looks like." Alli said giving Dave his hoodie back. Closing the door behind him, Sav said: "Alli it's another excuse after another. Dave leave now."

Clearly Alli's feelings were hurt. "Call me ok." Dave climbed down the tree.

"Sav I swear….he was just being a good friend."

"Alli….I know. I still have to do my job." Sav sat down on her bed and patted the spot next to him. Taking his lead, she followed.

"Over these few weeks, you have been trying….but you're still lost. You are going to have to find your own way. Mom and Dad are… mom and dad." He smiled. "Eventually, they will get over it."

"So basically, they will never forgive me." Alli frowned.

"No what I'm hoping is that you change for yourself and not for them. Now get ready." He said kissing her forehead.

"I love you Sav."

"Love you too."

…..

Dave had to mark down this morning as "the most unorthodox" in his life so far. As much as he hated himself for giving into her again, a part of him couldn't help it. He had a girlfriend…a good girlfriend. He had to draw the line. Just because she confided in him last night didn't mean things would change…the classic "beauty and the dork." Boundaries had to be drawn….but he knew he couldn't do that.

"Hey sweetie." Sadie walked up behind kissing his cheek.

"Hey baby." He said calming his nerves as he took her hand to walk her to class.

…..

As she walked the halls of her new school, Alli was considered gross by association..but today was not like other day. Today she was going to make the best out of an impossible situation. Walking to her locker, she put the books in her back pack, heading to her class.

As she continued to walk, she heard snickering once again. She decided to tune it out and smile. She was not going to be the victim today.

…

"Dave." Sav caught up with him in the hallway as he walked with Drew and K.C.

"Sup guys. Dave can I talk to you for a little bit?"

"Sure. See you guys later." They walked off.

"I wanted to thank you for taking care of my sister last night." Sav said. "She needed it."

"….You're welcome…but Sav…I can't always be there for her when she needs it because that's not my job…I can't catapult myself in her life."

"I understand. Alli can be a "wild child" at times but she does have a good heart."

"I know that." Dave said walking off. He did the right thing. Removing himself from the situation is for the best. Then why did he feel so bad for doing it?

…

Sitting on the park bench, Alli took a deep breath. This day wasn't going as rough as the past. Hopefully the tension will fade. It didn't help seeing Malika act as if nothing happened.

It wasn't like she liked the girl in the beginning…she was ok…not her favorite person. She was nothing like Clare whose innocence radiated…or Jenna who also offered her shoulder. She missed them both tremendously.

Malika and she were both using each other for their parent's conscious. Malika needed to be seen as the saint who could convert anyone. Alli needed to be the saint that they wanted her to be.

Taking a bite of her sandwich, she listened to her iPod. She was oblivious that Malika sat next to her…more like ignoring.

"….Alli I'm sorry about the cigarette, ok. You would have done the same thing too." Malika tried to justify her actions.

"Don't talk to me." Alli began to pack her things.

"Please, you don't fool me Bhandari…I know who you are…you are just like me…believe it or not." She said with anger.

"No I'm nothing like you." Alli stated.

"You know what. You're right. You're dumb. You get caught…I'm not going to end up like you….fallen from grace. You're just mad you are not quick on your feet." Malika stormed off.

Malika was wrong. She was never that conniving. She would never sacrifice a person like that…ever.

...

"No Dave I can't, I won't" Clare stated with her arms folded. Why was he going out of his way for Alli after how she treated him…after how she left her here alone. She did have Eli and Adam…even Jenna and KC, but it was not the same.

"Clare she needs you…someone. I can't do it by myself." Dave staed.

"I tried to call her. She doesn't answer. She wants nothing to do with me." Clare sat down at the picnic table.

"I understand you're mad. I am too but she needs help." He said.

"Dave, I can't keep trying when she continuously shuts the door in my face. I can't do it. Yes I miss her. She's still my best friend, but there is nothing I can do. You can't keep putting yourself in her life. You have Sadie…focus on her."

"Clare…" He began.

"You don't have to say anything…I applaude your loyalty but she has to do this by herself." Clare hugged him walking off.


	3. Boston

**Boston**

**Chapter 3**

**Augustana**

…

Sav knew he was tough on his sister, but she needed this. She needed to understand that actions did have consequences. She couldn't just play with people's emotions and take them for granted.

Alli didn't know what she had done to him. She made him make sacrifices for her…as if he didn't have enough pressures in his life already. He remembered how he wished something would just stop her and hurt her…he got his wish. She was at her rock bottom. Now she is beginning to see life is what you make of it.

…

"Dave is something wrong?" Sadie broke their kiss. She enjoyed how they always snuck away from their classes. He was so sweet to her, but she knew something was on his mind.

"No. Why do you say that?" Dave lied.

"It's just that…you seem distracted. You know you can tell me anything." She smiled.

"Sadie." He kissed her hand. "Every thing is fine."

"Good…so I take it you will be there at Degrassi's first girl's basketball try-outs."

"Yes." Dave smiled kissing her lightly.

….

"OMG…it just kicked." Clare nearly screamed touching Jenna's stomach. Clare volunteered to take her to the doctor using Eli's car. She promoted herself to Jenna's personal nurse.

"Of course, he knows Aunt Clare." She smiled.

"So it's a boy." Clare glowed.

"I don't know Clare-Bear. I want it to be. We keep telling Dr. McAvoy we don't want to know."

"You know I have to throw you a shower, right."

"Yeah…you and …Alli." Jenna said under her breath.

"No Jenna…just me." Clare said annoyed.

"Stop acting like that. You can give up all you want to. I know you're discouraged but…"

"But nothing Jen. Everyone is taking her side…you…Dave…can't someone understand where I am coming from?"

"Clare ….woah. I am the first to know what its like to be abandoned, but people do come around. You have to have faith."

"Girls you are in a doctor's office." The receptionist chastised them.

"Sorry." Both girls forgot.

"Look, just give her time." Jenna smiled.

…

Alli knew she was going to end up here. She hated it but the girls bathroom seemed to be the only place where she didn't have ridicule or judgment for her past mistakes.

She felt as if the ones who were close to her felt as if she could not truly change. They felt as if she were doing this to gain attention…and that she would not learn. She knew they thought that she would turn back into the old Alli….that this was just a stage.

Taking a bite of her sandwich, she repeated Dave's words in her head "stay strong." She felt as if that was keeping her alive. She felt as if Dave was her only friend. He always had faith in her no matter what. She didn't want to let him or herself down.

Picking up her phone, she text him:

**Alli: Hey Dave, I need a breather**

**Dave: Sorry to hear that. You just got about 2 more hours. Hang in there.**

**Alli: Thanks I really need to hear that. **

**Dave: No problem**

…..

"That can't be Sadie you're talking too because she's in gym class." K.C. came to the conclusion.

"What makes you think I'm talking to another girl." Dave put the phone up in his pocket before he walked in Media Immersion. Ms. Oh took pride in taking them.

"Because of the way you are looking…." K.C whispered.

"It's not like that. She's just having troubling times." Dave said.

"And let me guess….because she's just your friend…her worries are your worries now." K.C stated.

"K.C. I don't know how all of a sudden you got so judgmental…you didn't even want Jenna when she got pregnant." Dave whispered angrily.

"Whatever man."

…..

Alli was so happy her parents had to work late. She couldn't bare riding the care looking at the stern faces. They were angry with her. They refused to talk to her unless for small talk…even that was bitter.

As she walked through into "The Dot." She instantly regretted her actions. Drew and Bianca sharing a milkshake. They had the last satisfaction. Why would she come to a place that was a constant remnant of Degrassi.

Drew was her brother's drummer and Bianca was his official band groupie. Welcome to her hell. Not that she wanted him still but it still hurt to see them so happy and she was miserable. Life did go on. She knew he didn't care for her…he never even tried to make contact with her.

Luckily, they didn't notice her. She wanted to hide in the corner….but hiding was not an option anymore. Though she was tired of avoiding them, she couldn't face what was in front of her eyes. Turning around she walked back outside.


	4. Back to Black

**Back to Black**

**Chapter 4**

**Amy Winehouse**

…..

"Where's the fire?"Fitz caught the small girl as she rushed outside.

"In there." She stated looking at Drew and Bianca through the glass window.

"Looks like my little Indi needs a talk. Take a step in my office." Fitz and her sat on the bench. Over the course of time, the two had become friends. As part of his mentorship program, he began working at "The Dot." The day she left Degrassi, she found herself there crying. Fitz gave milkshake to cheer her up.

"I know they are together. I was crazy to think that he was helplessly in love with me…but."

"Do you forgive him Alli?" Fitz asked putting his apron over his head. "Ask yourself that. I have to go to work. I'll see you later." He smiled.

"See ya." She began to walk hearing laughter. Only one person she knew laughed like that.

"Hey stranger." Jenna held her stomach as she hugged Alli.

"Hey." Alli said looking at Jenna."You've gotten so big…you look beautiful."

"I miss you Alli." She grabbed her hand taking her for a walk.

…

"You just missed your friend…" Fitz said as Clare walked inside the school hang-out.

"Jenna?" Clare asked.

"….no….Alli."Fitz said staring at her. Her beauty never ceased to amaze him. Her soft curls flowed….her pink lips puckered…how he wanted to be near her…and never let her go….but she belonged to someone else.

Clare noticed how he looked at her. She could not deny they had an unexplainable connection, but she was happy with Eli.

"Ohh…how….is….she?" She asked. Fitz noticed how the light brightened her face.

"….So beautiful." He said aloud. "I mean. She's doing good."Clare blushed at his comment.

"What brings you here by the way?"

"I was looking for Eli and Adam…but….I should go."Clare said.

"Why?" Fitz grabbed her arm.

"Because I think it's best…" She walked out. Clare didn't need anymore complications in her life right now.

….

Alli cried in Jenna's arms as they sat on the park bench.

"I'm sorry Jenna. I'm so sorry." She rambled.

"Hun, it's ok. " Jenna comforted her. "Everything's in the past now." Alli nodded.

"So how is the baby?"

"Good. K.C. is making sure of it. We are going to classes every week."

"How have you been?"Jenna asked.

"Good except for the constant bickering of my parents, the snickers at school, and my emotional breakdown in the park a couple of days ago." Jenna frowned.

"Dave helped me though." Allis grinned.

"Good ole' reliable Dave." Jenna stated.

"Speaking of old friends. We are all going to Lil' Misteaks later tonight. You should come. Sounds like you need some fun in your life."

"I do." Alli said.

…

"Clare…how could you?" Eli said as they met in their spot in the woods.

"Eli….he's trying to change." Clare said pleadingly.

"No he is lying. He is taking advantage of you…again. He doesn't care about you. Can't you see that? You never pay attention." Eli was trying to talk some sense in his girlfriend. She always tried to see the best in people…even if that person was a future serial killer.

"O so now my judgment is bad." Clare turned red. When did she and Eli turn into this? Every time she was around him, she became claustrophobic. He was a bodyguard not a boyfriend.

"No I didn't say that. Why are you acting as if I'm over exaggerating. He tried to kill me!" Eli screamed. Clare hated that look. Eli had so many sides to him. She didn't know…she just didn't know.

"He was trying to scare you. You took it to far Eli. You don't know when to stop." Clare said hoping he would get it…but as usual…he did not.

"Look, I love you. I am not going to lose you. I have a right to protect you….take his side all you want to."

"There you go again Eli. Making this a "black and white" issue. You know what….I'm done talking about this. We go around in circles." Clare walked off.

…

As Alli walked in the door, she smiled when she didn't hear her parent's voices. Taking off her satchel, she headed towards the kitchen. She spoke to soon when she heard her mother's footsteps behind her.

"Hey mom." She said contently as she fixed herself a sandwich.

"I just got off the phone with Malika's mother. She says you have been mistreating her. Alli we did not raise you to act like this." The usual routine...they never believed her.

"She mistreats me….she lies….she smokes."

"…and you expect me to believe that after everything Alliah." Her mom folded her arms.

"Mom, I done with this. I am trying…I am actually becoming a better person…but you keep blaming me. I am looking you in the eyes and telling you that she mistreats me…and all you can do is look at me with disappointment. I am tired of wasting my breath. I get it. You both hate me." Alli ran outside. She had no more tears to cry.

….


	5. Till It Happens to You

**Till It Happens to You**

**Chapter 5**

**Corrine Bailey Rae**

…**.**

Eli drove. Clare was too naïve to understand. She had no idea what its like to lose someone so drastically…Julia. He lost her. It was all his fault. He was not going to lose Clare. Fitz was not going to win. He saw the way he looked at her. How he wanted her.

To use Jesus like that. He wasn't even Christian, yet he was offended. He would put an end to this. He would no longer live in fear.

….

She didn't care what her mother thought of her…at least at this moment. She knew that she made the right choice. She was sick of being compared to Malika. She needed a distraction.

As Alli walked in the restaurant, she found herself scared. Scared that she couldn't pick up where she left off. Perhaps, this wasn't the best distraction. As she approached the table, she noticed them all. K.C…Jenna…Drew…Bianca. She would have to face them all eventually. Why not pretend to fake it until she meant it?

….

"Why aren't you with the others? Eli didn't want to go?" Adam let Clare inside his home.

"You act as if we are joined to the hip 24/7." She sat down on the couch.

"You are…not that it's any of my business." Adam joined her.

She was debating this question. "…..How do you feel about Fitz?" Clare asked holding herself. She hoped Adam didn't see as a traitor.

"You mean the guy who bullied me…o…he's cool." He said sarcastically.

Where did this question come from? This wasn't the level-headed Clare he knew.

"Clare, I'm not saying people can't change…but…more than likely….they don't."

….

"Surprise, Surprise." Alli waved as she took a seat. She would not give Bianca the satisfaction of seeing her flinch.

"Yah! Bhandari is here."Jenna hugged her.

"Long time no see." K.C. smiled.

"I know…I've just been doing me." She smiled.

"Seriously Alli. I'm…" Drew began.

"Its over...All is forgiven." Alli said calmly. They was no need harboring any feelings. It meant a lot that he apologized. It was time to move on from the past.

"Are Dave and Sadie coming?" Bianca asked.

Everyone noticed Alli's change in expression. Could she really handle seeing him with another girl? How they been intimate? Does he show her the exact care he showed her on that night?

…

"Who's Alli?" Sadie asked. Dave's heart quickened when she asked. Did she read his messages?

"…A friend who transferred." Dave said calmly.

"O ok. Jenna said she would join us tonight." She said. He felt really bad at this moment. He liked two girls. How could he show affection to one in the face of the other…especially when a part of him wanted the other?

…

"Clare they don't. How cliché can you get? His "I'm Saved" speech. If he is so sorry, why has he only told you and not me and Eli." Adam asked raising his arms in the air.

"Because he knows you two will retaliate." She stated.

"With reason." Adam rolled his arms.

"Have faith." Clare said.

"Faith has nothing to do with it. I'm realistic. Fitz is a lost cause."

…

I have to go to the bathroom." Alli said as the two lovebirds walked inside.

Dave noticed but he continued to join his friends. He kept telling himself to stop caring about her, but it was hard to do. They had an unexplainable, unlikely friendship, that somewhere evolved into….

"What are you guys going to order?" Holly J asked shaking his train of thought.

…

"Bianca if you came to terrorize me. This is not the place." Alli dried her hands.

"No…I didn't…I wanted to say sorry." Bianca extended her hand sincerely.

"Apology accepted. I'm sorry too. I ruined your reputation." Alli bit her lip.

"Guess we are in the same boat then." Bianca said. Alli looked at her.

"Sorry. Bad humor. Still working on it."Bianca said. "By the way Bhandari, this doesn't mean we're best friends."

"I wouldn't have it any other way." Alli walked out preparing herself.

"So I take it…you girls are cool?" Drew said.

"Yeah." Alli sat down. Dave had to sit right in front of her. He was trying his hardest not to look at her.

…..

Eli walked into "The Dot." He smirked as Fitz stopped sweeping. He loved knowing that he caused the fear into eyes. Now he would see what he was capable of.

Fitz was not scared of him. He pitied him. It was obvious this boy was mentally unstable. Why would Clare want someone like him. Of course, he could keep the monsters away from her…but what about what she really needed….compassion, love….not control….but love.

But who was he to judge. He just began to understand real emotion. He wish Clare could be the one he could give it too.

"Fitz, stay way from her." Eli approached him.

"Eli…." Fitz shook his head putting the "closed" sign in the window.

"Don't condescend to me." Eli said.

"I'm not….look I've changed. I'm not violent anymore. I'm sorry."

"Clare might believe that crap…but I don't."

"You should listen to her" He cleaned the counter. His nonchalant attitude was ticking Eli off. He could tell.

"No…you should stop looking at her like that…Stay away from her. This is your last warning." Eli began walking out the door.

…

"Can you guys believe it….I made the team." Sadie cheered.

"That's great hun." Jenna smiled passing the rolls across the table. Jenna didn't know if Sadie was blind or if she was intentionally ignoring how Alli and Dave were avoiding contact with eachother.

"You can have it." Dave said as they both grabbed the last roll. It was killing him…being this close to her…not being able to…

"No…you have dibs….take it." Alli smiled sadly as Sadie continued on with her story.

"You two are definitely a power couple in the making." K.C. said with a smart attitude. Jenna hit him underneath the table.

"I know right." Drew didn't catch on to his underline sarcasm. "Two basketball players." Bianca shook her head. Dave glared at the remark giving Alli the roll.

As she put butter on it. A new customer walked in the door and greeted Holly J.

"Nice get-up H.J." he stated.

"Your dry humor never delightful Johnny." She scoffed.

"Johnny DiMarco." Alli and Dave said aloud, taking the focus off of Sadie. Turning their heads, the whole table looked as he was walking towards them.


	6. It Kills Me

**It Kills Me**

**Chapter 6**

**Melanie Fiona**

…

Clare didn't know why everyone was punishing her. She was just doing the right thing. Fitz deserved a second chance. If anyone, Adam should understood about wanting to be accepted.

Now here she was walking, she didn't know where too, but she didn't want to go home. Knowing Eli, he was probably there waiting on her. Why did she show him where the spare key was?

Fitz did change she could see it in his eyes…his deep…chocolate eyes. She had to stop herself. Even though things between her and Eli were rocky, she did love him. As much as she tried to stay away from Fitz, she couldn't. Maybe she just enjoyed a good challenge. Where was Alli when she needed her?

…..

Dave kept repeating the same phrase in his head, "he didn't care about her." Even he was tired of saying it, because he knew he did. Sadie could see he did…but he chose Sadie…right…Alli definitely didn't want him….especially after seeing Johnny.

Why was he always second best. He finally got what he wanted….then Alli comes back in his life…now his whole train of thought was messed up. Why him? K.C. looked at his saddened face.

"Hey Backwoods." Johnny said contently.

"Hey Johnny." Alli said. She didn't know whether or not to be happy to see him.

"…Turner." Johnny said blandly.

"…DiMarco." Dave rolled his eyes as he took a sip of his drink.

"Want to join us?" Jenna asked trying to lesson the tension.

"No thanks…I'll see you Alli." Johnny walked off to his group of friends.

….

"You know it's dangerous walking by yourself at night." Fitz drove up to her on the sidewalk.

"I can manage." Clare said dryly trying to not look at him.

"Come on Edwards…I'm not going to kidnap you. You know I could not forgive myself if anything happened to you." Fitz opened the door for her.

"…..Ok." Clare finally said. It was just a ride.

…..

Dave held Sadie's hand as he walked her home. More than enough was on his mind. There was still bitterness towards Johnny. He just didn't understand how anyone could mistreat Alli…any woman at that.

Sure she let him mistreat her, but she truly cared for him. He took advantage of that…but Alli was in charge of her own life.

"Are you going to tell me the truth now?" Sadie stopped his train of thought as she crossed her arms waiting.

"…about what?" Dave lied.

"….you and Alli." Sadie wiped the lone tear away.

"Baby, baby, everything is fine. I like you." Sadie only nodded. Though he did not answer the question, he gave her the answer she was looking for.

…

"Looking for Eli?" Fitz asked turning the heater up. Grabbing her hand, she jumped.

"Look I was just putting your hand to the heater." He explained.

Clare was upset. Why was she here? How come every time she had problems, she always found herself with Fitz? What was the matter with her?

"What's on your mind?" Fitz asked.

"….Nothing." She turned her head. Fitz rolled his eyes. He didn't know she could be so stubborn.

" You know we can't stay away from one another…right?" Fitz stopped at the red light.

"Fitz..you are to just drive me home. I can't deal with you now." Clare shook her head.

"If not now… when? It's like your holding on to Eli for some reason and I don't know why?" Fitz said.

…..

"O….I see how this is gonna be now. You guys are going to pretend as if I'm not here." Alli said as she saw her parents eat at the dinner table as if she were a figment of their imagination. Mr. Bhandari placed his fork down at her response.

"You know the rules of this house young lady…you are to come straight home from school." He sternly said.

"Maybe I'm sick of this."

"Watch your tone Alliah." Her mother walked by her husband.

"No dad, I'm tired of this…I'm sick of being hated by you…I'm sick of being expected to be perfect."

**SLAP**

Alli held her cheek at her mother's assault. She had never been hit before. Her eyes began to water.

"Alli we have done everything as parents to take care of you. Where did we go wrong?" Her mother began to cry. She regretted hitting her daughter…but she did not know what else to do. She watched her beautiful misguided daughter run up the stairs.

….

"Who are you to critique my relationship….everyone was right…you haven't changed." Clare stated.

"If I'm so wrong Clare…then why did you get in the car…why don't get out now and start walking." Clare just stared at him. Why did she get in this car?

Fitz watched as he saw her question herself. It was at that moment….he grabbed her face. Pulling her closely to him, he tasted her. He didn't know it would feel this good.

Clare, hesitant at first, relaxed. His kiss was different than Eli's… aggressive… demanding…. hard….soft….explosive.

…

Alli began to walk….to where…she had no idea. She really wanted to go with Dave, but she didn't want to be an inconvenience. She saw how Sadie stared daggers at her when he wasn't looking. She had nowhere….no place….to call home.


	7. Julia

**Julia**

**Chapter 7**

**Fefe Dobson**

…

"What are you doing here?" Clare saw Alli sit on her front steps. She didn't need this right now. She just cheated on her boyfriend. The sad part was…she didn't regret it. She had to stay away from Fitz. Why did she kiss him?

"Please, Clare…please…I have nowhere else to go." Alli cried in her hands.

"It's always about you isn't it? You think everything is supposed to go your way." Clare began to cry. She herself did not know she had so much bottled up inside. Alli just sat there and listened as her heart broke twice tonight.

"Everyone has been telling me to stop avoiding you…like I'm the bad one. Alli you abandoned me in the first place. You ditched me for Drew and Jenna…don't get me wrong, me and Jenna are on good terms now but you knew how she took K.C. from me. You betrayed me." Clare gritted her teeth.

"You didn't even care about my parents' divorce. You didn't care and you still don't care." Clare screamed. Alli degusted her harsh words, wiping her eyes.

"Clare…I do care. You are my best friend. You just seem so….well collected. You are so strong. I've always admired that about you. I always wished I had that quality. I didn't know you were going through so much. Please forgive me….I'm sorry.

…..

"Mom….Dad…what's going on." Sav walked in the door. A tornado looked like it hit the place. He walked into the house finding his parents frantically searching the house.

"What are you guys looking for?" His mother paused as she began to cry.

"It is all my fault. I pushed her to far." She cried. Her husband held her.

"it is both our faults." They cried.

"Where's Alli?" Sav panicked.

"We do not know. We are searching for clues now." Mr. Bhandari said.

"Son, do you know where she can be?" Sav only shook his head.

….

As the two girls walked inside the house, they both released a breath they did not know they were holding. It was good being in each other's presence.

"You can have the guest bed." Clare said. She couldn't make Alli leave. They were still hurt by each others' actions but both could not forget their friendship.

"Clare I don't really know what to say. I mean…we both have gone through so much…I…I.."

"Alli, you don't have to say anything.

…..

Noone knew Fitz's pain. They only saw the rough exterior. The scrapes and cuts on his stomach were his constant reminder of his life….his brother's beatings….his parents abandonment.

As his drunken brother lost consciousness, he limped to the bathroom. Taking off his shirt, he grabbed a towel to clean his wound. He did not know how deep it was. He only hoped Neosporin and alcohol would do the trick and reduce the swelling. As he winced, he thought about Clare's eyes…her bright eyes.

She was helping him and she didn't even know it. He would often ask god why was this his life? Then he would remind himself of her strength. While working, the friendship club would often come by and share their stories with him. He happily obliged.

What he did was wrong but he did not care. He would kiss her again…as many times as she would let him. He would kiss her until she finally realized where she needed to be.

….

"Woah….wait Sadie." Dave gently pushed her away from him. He loved kissing her, but if they kept going…

"Why?" Sadie asked sitting up on her bed. She didn't want to stop. She really liked Dave. He was everything she was looking for in a guy.

"….because that's a big step babe. Once you give it up, you can't give it back." He tried to rationalize with her.

"But that's the thing. I know it's the right thing to do." She began to kiss his neck and raise his shirt.

"Sadie…right….now…" He tried to concentrate on stopping her rather than letting her have her way.

"I like the relationship we have now. It's sweet and innocent. I don't…."

"Let me guess…your hearts not in this." Sadie said sad and angry at the same time.

"I didn't say that…not yet. Look." He pulled her into his arms. "I know a lot of guys put pressure on girls, but you don't have to sleep with me to keep me around." He said kissing her forehead.

…

"I found her." Sav said triumphantly. He thanked Allah that Clare sneakily called him when Alli was in the shower.

"Good. Let us go." His mother grabbed the car keys.

"No mom….dad. Alli's fine. Shes at a friends house." They sat down on the couch as they realized Sav's serious tone.

"Right now…I think it's best." He said. "She needs a change of scenery."

"Son..I do not believe…."

"Dad we always do what you ask of us. For once can you please trust me. Clare is a good girl. She won't let anything happen to Alli. Besides she lives closer to the boarding school. I'm begging…just give her time."

"Sav…when you become a parent….you will learn that there is not a guide….please don't make the same mistakes we did." Sav only nodded as his parents went to sleep.

…

"I missed you so much Alli." Clare hugged her friend as they sat on the couch. She rested her head on Alli's shoulder. Alli missed her too.

"Me too…" Alli said.

"…I really messed up didn't I?" Clare asked thinking about how soft Fitz lips were. She wanted to kiss him again.

"Depends…did you like it?" Alli waited for a response. Clare asked. "I don't know why though."

"It's ok. Fitz is cute…and underneath that block of armor is a good heart. He is changing. What about Eli though?"

"As if I know. I feel so guilty. I can't just throw Eli away because of an amazing kiss." Clare said

"…yep…you're right." Alli agreed.


	8. No Air

**No Air**

**Chapter 8**

**Jordin Sparks ft. Chris Brown**

…**.**

"Am I Racheal from your story?" Clare asked Eli out of nowhere as they sat at the picnic tables.

"Where did that come from?" Eli dropped his comic down on the table.

"I was revising it last night. It was just a thought." Clare exaggerated the truth.

"She was inspired by you." He said truthfully.

"…and stalker angel is Fitz…and Malcolm is….you." Clare said.

"Are you trying to get somewhere with this?" Eli looked at her. She didn't like this look. He looked insane…catastrophic…eerie. What was he thinking?

"Let's go somewhere and talk about this." He grabbed her arm possessively.

"I'm sorry…I can't Eli." She walked away hastily.

As she walked in the door, Sav stopped her.

"You ok Edwards?" Sav asked her. She was as pale as a ghost. Clare nodded.

"Thanks again for letting Alli stay with you. If you need anything, I'm only a call away." He walked off.

"Why did you run off like that?" Eli asked as she jumped.

"Eli….sneaking up on me ever so…quietly." She said. "How about we meet up at "The Dot" for lunch?"

"Yeah…sure." Eli stared after she walked off. When did their relationship become "cat and mouse"? She use to see him as her warrior….now things had changed. He would make things go back to the way they were...by any costs.

…..

Fitz was driving himself crazy thinking about Clare. She fit so perfectly against him. He didn't want to let her go…not ever. He wondered did she think about him too. Not paying attention, he dropped a glass.

"You have got to watch where you are going." Alli sat down at the counter.

"Alli…what are you doing here? It's school time." Alli bit her lip.

"I skipped ok."

"Alli." He chastised her.

"What…we had a substitute. It's home ec…come on." She rolled her eyes. At least that old had died hard. Fitz fixed her a milkshake.

"I bet a red head is catching your attention." Alli smiled.

"…I plead the fifth." Fitz cleaned the blender. He wished she were here right now, so he could hold her in his arms….wrap his arms around her waist.

"Fitz. I know how you feel about her, but….Eli…" Alli began.

"Eli is a basketcase who only wants what he wants." Fitz finished wincing holding his side.

"you ok?"

"Yeah…deliveries." He lied

"….ok…" Alli drank her drink. "By the way…we're back friends now…Clare and I" Alli smiled.

"That's good. That means she told you about…"

"yep…" She nodded.

…

"I have to keep Clare safe Adam." Eli said as they ate their lunch. Adam continued to chew.

"….it's my job. I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to her…I mean cant just appear out of nowhere. I won't allow it." Eli's mind flashed back to that night.

All his fears grasped him at once and clouded his judgment. He remembered how the so-called Christian casually walked up to him….cornered him against the cool steel. He remembered how the hairs on the back of his neck stood up on end. He could have easily been killed….but he wasn't.

He was not going to mess up again. This time he would get the job done right.

"Eli…I understand but you can't be so consumed that you push Clare away. You have to remember that." Adam said. He knew it was no use though because once Eli made up his mind, he would never change it.

…

Clare rested underneath the palm tree. She knew she promised Eli lunch, but surprisingly he cancelled. Sadly, she was glad he did. She needed to figure out this mess she was in. As the bell rang, she collected her things.

"What are you doing here….again?" Clare felt an arm pull her aside as the others were on their way back to class.

"I had to come see you…apologize." Fitz walked her over to the bus stop.

"That's a load of crap and you know it. You're not sorry for what you did. You never are." Clare exclaimed.

"Don't misinterpret Edwards…I'm sorry for putting you in a moral dilemma, not kissing you." Fitz walked to her slowly playing with her soft curls.

"There you go again…invading my personal space." Clare said but she didn't stop him. She wanted it…badly.

…..

"Sav thank you." Alli hugged her brother. "For everything." Sav handed her a chicken wrap as they sat on the town's bench. They were enjoying eachother's company. Alli was glad she wanted to be around Sav rather than feeling obligated too. She was even happier when he picked her up for lunch.

"Ok…what happened? You're quieter than usual." Alli observed his behavior as he ate.

"…..Johnny dropped by the house last night." Sav said.

"…O….I saw him….recently…this week." Alli said.

"So we are back where we started." Sav said."

"…..I don't know." Alli shrugged her shoulders.

…


End file.
